I Hate Changing Jobs!

                                                 

I absolutely hate changing jobs but have come to the conclusion, this is going to be what's best for me.  While I love my job, I have reached the pinacle of advancement.  Regardless of how I perform, there is no hope of merit raises or any room in which to advance.  So, I've decided to look for employment elsewhere.  Not an easy statement to achieve, given the rural area in which I live.  I'm a hard worker with excellent references and work ethic so I believe myself to be quite marketable.  Now, I have to get over this fear I have of letting go and JUST DO IT!  Fingers and toes crossed... and in I go! 

One Dispatcher's View of the Chaos in West, TX

This is a repost of a blog I wrote and published shortly after the incident...  Just felt the need to get it out again.

I am grateful my work shift last night was a calm and peaceful one in my little part of Texas. Just to the north of me a piece, in a town no bigger than the one I live in, the wrath of God has rained down on them. I feel every bit of those dispatchers' pain. My 2nd biggest fear in doing this job is just what they experienced - my own people (fire, medics and law enforcement) being injured and feared dead on a scene. Compound that with a mass casualty incident involving practically everyone I know and I don't really know how I would handle that. I would like to think I would go into my "#dispatcher# mode" and just stay with it to avoid thinking of the alternatives.

I've worked numerous big scenes in my 10 years behind the mic - the biggest being in 2011 during the fire storms of Labor Day Weekend. I have less than 25,000 people in my entire county and on that weekend alone, we answered more than 1500 calls to #911# and our corresponding non-emergency numbers. Many of them being concerned or frightened citizens wanting information to determine if they needed to evacuate. McLennan County 9-1-1 no doubt answered just as many from their citizens. Then, of course, there are the inconvenienced drivers on I-35 who have to know why traffic on the interstate is no longer moving... Ugh! (Maybe it has something to do with the large fire ball in the sky???) But I digress...

Now, comes the time for the investigators to do their job. Do their investigation to determine the true cause of all this destruction (other than heat added to anhydrous ammonia = death)... Should they determine this was indeed an act of terrorism then no hole will be deep enough to protect the scum that did this. Lest he forget, Texas IS a death penalty state. On the other hand, if it is determined this was indeed just an unfortunate industrial accident then I say rejoice for God truly is merciful... there was an elementary school directly across the street from the plant. It could have exploded during the middle of school day. How would we ever hope to recover from that?

So, I'm home. I've kissed my sleeping 26 year old baby girl (just felt the need to hold my own) and now I will lie down myself in hopes of getting a little sleep. This had made me appreciate a little more the time I have with those I love. Don't miss a moment to tell those you love how you feel for things can change... in an instant! Stay safe my friends.

That Evil Steamroller Called Time

Received word last night that the father of a lady I went to high school with passed away.  So sad.  My own mother passed away in June so I can definitely empathize.  I guess now that I crossed that threshold that is 50 years old, this is going to be the exception rather than the norm anymore.  I still live in the town in which I graduated high school and so do most of the parents of those 48 other "kids" I graduated all those years ago.  I used to measure the movement of time by watching my children grow and move from grade to grade. 

Now that they are adults, I guess this is my new time piece.  The ticking of the hands on this clock, marking the reduction of those that knew me when I was just a gawky kid who worked at her father's grocery store...  My paternal grandmother lived until she was 92 in her own home and ultimately passed away at the age of 96 while in a nursing facility.  She burried her husband and 14 of her 15 siblings...  I wonder if it ever crossed her mind that the people who probably knew her best, were no longer here to mourn her passing?  Is this the price we will all pay for living a longer life?

No one is "Always"

There is not much that annoys me more about living in a rural area than the concept of labels.  My particular communities thrive on them.  No label is more annoying than the one of "always right" and "always wrong".  For years I watched my former in-laws live within these labels - she being the one wearing the "always wrong" label and he, the "always right".  At least in my community, 9 times out of the 10, that is the order of the wearing. 

Last night, I went to a movie with a friend of mine that I had not seen in a while.  We wanted to see the movie in IMAX so the drive was longer than usual.  In the drive to and from that movie, I was "always wrong" no less than 4 times.  I am no rocket scientist by any means, but the only things I could seem to get right were the times I agreed with his position on the topic we were discussing.  HE continued to harp on every topic I was "wrong" about until I just stopped disagreeing.  I wasn't agreeing; I just went silent.  I guess, in a way, silence was giving in to his "right" but I just could not argue with him when there was no rational or concrete backing to his opinion.  He just stated the same thought over and over.  It reminds me of when I was a kid and my mother's answer to my question of "why?" was answered with "because I said so!"  I love a good "discussion" and he knows I hear and consider his side of the story.  I just get frustrated when others do not show me the same courtesy. 

This frustration is, in part, the catalyst to my blog.  I'm not "always right" but neither am I "always wrong".  I enjoy hearing other sides to the story and who knows, I may be wrong on a particular point and cuddos to you.  But then again, I could also be right.  I promise to listen... do you?